long-article
Moving from Outside In to Inside Out
Discover how to break free from consumer society patterns and find authentic solutions within yourself through Inside Out Living.
The Consumer Society Trap
We live in a consumer society where solutions lie outside of us - we can buy happiness in a holiday deal, self esteem in a new outfit, relaxation in a spa, success by beating the competition. We are bombarded with these messages all day, and for most of us, we become unconsciously programmed to believe them. These beliefs then power our thoughts, actions and reactions.
This is how we find ourselves in Outside In Living.
When I'm sad I reach for a slice of cake. When I'm angry I pour myself a glass of wine. When I'm blue I buy myself something nice. When I'm tired I watch TV.
There's nothing wrong with any of these choices, but they are only emporary solutions. My internal programming remains. The next time I'm sad, I reach for a slice of cake... and so my life rolls on.
For most of us over time this leads to feelings of disappointment and resignation, and fuels old stories of shame - 'I'm not good enough', 'I can't do it', 'I'm a failure', 'I'm the problem'. We begin to identify ourselves as being that way and the changes we long for seem to happen for other, more fortunate people.
Inside Out Living
When you attend to your inner reality, you discover the solutions can be unlocked within you.
Hold on, that's so simple, why isn't everyone doing it?
Possibly because the messages from the outside world are so loud and persistent.
Possibly because it's a level of intimacy with myself that feels confronting.
Possibly because my inner reality is not all flowers and butterflies and it can be messy and challenging at times.
Possibly because it's unknown and I can find security and comfort in the familiar.
What are your reasons?
I was practicing Outside In Living in my childhood, my teens, my twenties and into my thirties, and then something changed. My choice of external solutions was so poor (booze, recreational drugs, men, saving the world - not an easy formula to live by!), and the level of pain and shame so great that I was forced to look at how I was living.
That point of breakdown in my life led to the breakthrough of Inside Out Living.
Inside Out Living is not a formula that is guaranteed to bring peace and love every minute of every day. It allows us to see the reality of living by our beliefs, our conditioning and our habitual programming. This can be challenging and unwelcome at times.
Do I want to know how self-centred/stubborn/arrogant/fearful/angry/judgmental I can be? NO! Seeing these things I can easily slip into shame and want to hide away. But at a deeper level, I know it's not personal, this is the human condition.
And by seeing my patterns and beliefs I have the chance to make new choices. I learn from those who've gone before me and share with others on the path so I know I'm not alone, and I can find the strength to keep going, a day at a time.
The Journey to Inside Out Living
If you're thinking - this sounds great but it sounds like hard work. Then think about where you are struggling and consider the impact of that on you and your life. Start small. Small steps lead to change that becomes embedded within you over time.
In my experience, as I release old beliefs and programming, there is more space and I find I'm more aware of how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what's driving me. More space to respond rather than react. I experience increased vitality. Love becomes more accessible as a state of being (rather than a response to another). My mind becomes more spacious and open. I feel a sense of belonging, and gratitude flows more freely.
I recognise that pain is an indication that something is off and I need to look, listen and learn. I have more acceptance and compassion for myself and others.
All the time? Clearly not! But enough of the time that Inside Out Living is no longer an act of faith, but an experiential reality.
Conscious Practices
The conscious practices in our lives are what anchor us to the Inside Out perspective. The conscious practices you are drawn to will be unique to you. When you find them and practice them daily, you'll fall in love with them. They become the very foundation of your life. Speaking for myself, without starting my day on my mat with yoga and meditation, without being mindful about what I eat and drink and how I manage my energy levels, I become untethered and revert back to Outside In Living.
I am as present as I set myself up to be in the day. And if I ride the wave of yesterday's success, it becomes today's ego trip. But if I am grateful for the benefits of yesterday's success and put in the practice today, I stay grounded and present to what's arising today. The common thread in each day is 'this too shall pass'.
Do I really have to make the changes EVERY day?
You don't have to do anything every day. I started with a five minute commitment to my yoga practice. Over the years I've fallen in love with it so much that I wake in time to enjoy a two to three hour practice.
It is not discipline that gets me out of bed, it is not self will, it is the enjoyment of exploring my inner reality, and knowing from experience the difference it makes to me in the day.
Some days it feels like an effort. Some days my mind tells me there are more important things to be doing. I practice anyway.
Each of us has the opportunity to lay down a daily rhythm of conscious practices to support Inside Out Living. Start where you are and take the next step. Your path is unique to you.
