The Voices in Your Head

You're tired, hungry and stressed. You walk into the kitchen. There's an open packet of biscuits on the counter (replace biscuits with your own version of temptation). And then that voice in your head pipes up justifying why, on this occasion, a biscuit is a good idea.

For each of us that voice will have it's own unique tone and will have crafted the perfect phrase to convince you of its truth. For me it says, 'stop taking yourself so seriously' (suggests self-importance and presses the shame button). Followed by something like, 'you eat so well so much of the time' (encouraging and really rather flattering). The shame/smug combo is irresistible to me, I'm off the hook and reaching for the biscuits.

Getting to know the voices that undermine us is a part of our growth on the path of life. We all have recurring records that play in certain circumstances. Some of these records are downright nasty. Some are sneaky. The recurring ones tend to be the unconscious ones, and these are often unhelpful to our health, growth and development.

Recognising what voices you're listening to will give you more ability in how you respond in any given moment, allowing you to refine your response-ability. It's advisable not to go to war with the voices that undermine you - it's hard work and as they say, 'what you resist persists'.

I like to acknowledge that those voices were the best I could do at the time I let them in... probably back in my childhood (up to 6 years old), when my brain was in theta mode, a sponge that soaked up the messages around me. Thanking them when they pipe up seems to create space, and in that space another voice can be heard - the one that's in the here and now, not stuck in the past.

If I still acted on all the negative voices in the my head, I'd still be addicted to quick fixes as a means of managing my internal discomfort. I'd still be trying to save the world to prove my worth and feel better about myself, while all the while wondering why I'm unhappy and unfulfilled.

It takes attention and awareness to keep this practice alive in the day. And your daily conscious practices will support you in developing your attention and awareness. We can all master the ability of how to respond in a given situation.

I can still fall for the 'stop taking yourself so seriously, you eat great most of the time' voice. And that's OK. I reassure myself that if I'm falling for it 10% of the time, and catching myself 90% of the time I'm moving in the direction of health and wellbeing. Progress not perfection.

When I'm feeling really challenged, stressed or tired, I'm more vulnerable. And that's when supportive friends are invaluable - the ones who can listen without judgement, and remind me of what's possible, rather than fuelling my sense of self-pity and doom.

Today, pay attention to the voices that come up for you. Observe which ones you fall for, which ones you feed, which are carrying your towards your vision, and which are having you believe you are doomed to stay stuck in old patterns. When you notice an unhelpful voice running, thank it and replace it with a more helpful script. Make this a regular practice, it will support you in developing your response-ability.